It’s Lonely at the Top. (But It Doesn’t Have to Be.) - Liz Bohannon
The Fulling team just finished a new video together during recent staff meetings, It’s Lonely at the Top. (But It Doesn’t Have to Be.) by Liz Bohannon.
“Leadership can be an isolating experience. The daily pressure to perform, wrestling with gut-wrenching decisions, and driving hard conversations all weigh on a leader’s soul. Drawing on her experiences as a successful entrepreneur and founder of Sseko Designs, Liz Bohannon understands the pressures that leaders face to have all the answers and make hard decisions in a complex and quickly changing landscape. Walk away from this talk ready to embrace vulnerability in a new way and build authentic connections that can support you in the challenges ahead.”
Liz talks about the spread of loneliness in society and how it’s increased over time. She said 58% of Americans say they are lonely and 70% of leaders FEEL lonely.
Loneliness has increased as a correlation to the amount to time we spend with friends decreasing. We are made for community and connection. However, our society keeps moving to more convenience and independence which limit our interaction with others.
“Your loneliness is not an accusation of your unworthiness. It is a signal.”
We need community & quality friendships outside of work. Loneliness is not inevitable. Choose to value community over convenience.
78% of people in America are lonely compared to a much lower percentage in other areas of the world.
Most of our team mentioned finding community from within our church/life groups, amongst activities we’re involved in or with our kids activities, through extended families, etc.
Liz finished out her session by sharing that for community to occur we need to:
1) Go First. Make it a priority to meet, invite and commit.
2) Pay Your Dues. It takes time and commitment. It takes about 90 hours to go from acquaintance to friend and an additional 110 hours to grow to an intimate friendship.
3) Develop the skill of reflective listening.
We agreed that it does take time to grow a deep friendship. It’s not a sprint, but is typically spread out over time including some life experiences to establish a deep trust.
Liz shared that we are “Hope Dealers”. We were made to need each other and can’t do life alone well. We can borrow hope from others at times when we need it and give it away generously to others.
Conversation Questions and Food For Thought:
How have you found ways to connect with others?
Do you have a community outside of work?
Go First - is it hard for you to put yourself out there with friends?